I'm Dr. Adam Sheck, and I'd like to welcome you to the "Men After Fifty" Community! Living for more than half a century on this planet is a rite of passage and I wanted to create a place where we can share our wisdom and experience to help each other and to help those who matter in our lives. As true for many "men after fifty", I've had a number of careers over my … [Read More...]

I am like you… think of the human form as art. I have little trouble taking and sharing photos of myself. I am selective on who and when I do it. In fact, in the process of writing a book about Embracing the Goddess within and letting her express herself fully. Photos will be included, so I am breaking that taboo for myself.
I have shared with a few boyfriends and did, after we break up, that they delete the images off their computer, flashdrives or where ever they may have them. I do the same for them. Do I feel they really did as I requested? Not sure I can say yes. Each man has later came back wondering for a little bit more fun… not the relationship, just the sex. Flattering yet… Really Dude? Do you think I am going there again? You had your chance and decided to walk away from this. I am not a revolving bed. I do politely say… huh… no. they drop the subject and apologize for the way they treated me. It is all good and mature. I generally don’t hear from them again. And it is all good.
Jennifer,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts so openly on this topic. Yes, you NEVER really know, do you? Once it’s out there, it is out there and from my perspective, best to recognize this up front and surrender it into the Universe (or the Internet?).
True though, the letting go process. I think in many relationships, including some of mine, the sex is the last thing to go, so perhaps makes sense then that your exes still crave that connection. Good for you in keeping whatever boundaries you need to keep.
Thanks again,
Adam
I hope whoever picture that is with her face blanked out knows that this picture of her was posted here.
I think if someone requests you delete pictures of themselves, then you should. Their ownership over their own body is more important then your ownership of their pictures. You will always have whatever memories you had with them and even the visual of those pictures in your head. Do you really need those pictures to go back and think of those memories? It seems like one may be keeping them more out of an idea of having a trophy.
I also wonder how many men stockpile pictures of naked women on their computers. Whether they are girlfriends, random women he has talked to or porn. At some point, men need to ask themselves why they need to stockpile picture of women on their computers.
In closing, if someone asks you to delete their picture, you should delete their picture. If they gave you the awesoem gift of having a nake picture of themselves for you for whatever time you were allowed to have it, appreciate the gift but move on.
Erin,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this charged topic. There definitely seems to be a split in opinion on what is appropriate. The moral of the story is to consider these issues PRIOR to acting upon them, then everyone is crystal clear.
Adam
My solution – just don’t give anything that I may not want floating around if it doesn’t work out. Hence there have been no photos of me out there, except for a few taken without my knowing (and, yes, that did make me very angry.)
But if it were me in your situation, I would just delete the photos and move on, but that could be just because I don’t like headaches and drama, and not necessarily because it’s the right thing to do. 🙂
Karen,
A very wise policy. Proactive and mindful is always better than reactive and blaming later. I’m into the drama-free zone as well.
Adam