I'm Dr. Adam Sheck, and I'd like to welcome you to the "Men After Fifty" Community! Living for more than half a century on this planet is a rite of passage and I wanted to create a place where we can share our wisdom and experience to help each other and to help those who matter in our lives. As true for many "men after fifty", I've had a number of careers over my … [Read More...]
What Makes A Man Sexy? Sexiest Men Over 50
What Makes A Man Sexy?
There was a recent survey that announced the 21 “Sexiest Men Over 50“. To be honest, I’m appreciative that anyone is even taking of survey of MY demographic.
And the top three were hardly surprising: George Clooney, Antonio Banderas and Denzel Washington. I find it way cool that this is a multiethnic list.
What WAS surprising in a good way was that a NON-movie star, not conventionally sexy man, 56 year old musical prodigy, Yo-Yo Ma was number six on the list!
This gives me a tiny bit of renewed faith in the human race an perhaps a little more hope to the “average” man after fifty. When Yo-Yo Ma was asked what made a man sexy, he replied,
“It’s deportment, comportment, grace, spunk and character. Age is not a factor.”
And that is the question at hand today on this Men After Fifty blogpost. While I have a full head of hair that has made many women envious as well as turned on, I don’t believe that it is the outside packaging that truly makes a man sexy.
Obviously movie stars, musicians, ultra rich and ultra famous men after fifty are high profile and fame can be sexy on its own, but what makes the rest of us the men after fifty sexy?
All that I can say is personally, I feel sexy when I feel good about myself, when I feel in integrity with my life, when I feel that I am contributing something to others and that my life has meaning. THAT is when I can feel the juices flowing, that Saturday Night Fever “strut” taking over (I AM dating myself on that one, eh?) and my face lights up and I’m FEELING the sexy take over.
And I want to make the distinction between when I feel sexy and when I feel my lust rising. Both are wonderful feelings and I am grateful for both. One however, is generated from within, one is generated externally. One has ME as the subject, the other has someone else as the object.
So, what makes a man sexy? I’d love to hear from men and I’d love to hear from women. Feel free to comment about men over 50, men under 50, ANY men.
Thanks so much,
Thanks for putting this juicy topic on the table, Adam. As a woman in her fifties dating again after a long marriage ended a few years ago, sexy is not always at the tip of the tongue when describing our demographic. I have encountered a few sexy men, and I know what makes them sexy to me.
I believe that confidence is the number one quality that makes both women and men sexy to each other. That confidence leads to being comfortable in your own skin, self-sufficiency and resilience. Intelligence and a quick wit also turn me on. A man who takes care of himself in all ways; physically, mentally, spiritually, is sexy to me. Body language speaks volumes. A man who stands and sits with confidence, openness, and looks me in the eye. I also like a man who can express how he experiences me easily and articulately, and who isn’t afraid to push back a little and take charge.
In terms of a sexy looking guy? While good looks are subjective, a man becomes better looking when he has the qualities I’ve noted above. I dated a very good looking guy with a full head of hair who turned me off with his high pitched nasal voice and his lack of self-respect. I’ve dated guys who were mostly bald, had prematurely aged skin, and were sexy as hell because of their enjoyment of life, intelligence, sense of adventure and fun, and take charge masculine energy.
On another note, I’ve been told by scores of men that I am very sexy, but I don’t think I ever heard a man say that in my twenties. I think if we are confident and take good care of ourselves and we own our fabulous feminine selves, we naturally magnetize men. I am loving my fifities!
I could say volumes on this topic, but I’ll stop here and leave room for others to comment.
Here’s to sexy over 50!
Thanks so much for sharing your many thoughts in this area, I really do appreciate it and imagine that the rest of my readers do as well. The topic of what makes a WOMAN sexy is an entirely different area that I do believe I’ll have to blog about as well, thanks for the inspiration 🙂
AND, if you’d like to write a guest blog on this topic of what makes a man sexy, I’d LOVE to have you do so. If that’s appealing, just send me an email or go through the “contact” form on this site.
Thanks so much,
Lion Goodman says
I turn “Sexty” next week, so your article is timely. But you young guys in your 50’s are really starting to irk me. (Since my last day in my 50’s is rapidly approaching.)
You are the MAN, my friend 🙂
Have the most incredible “sexty” and I look forward to hearing all about it AND a wonderful guest blog as well.
Ran Rhino says
Please be real. The idea of sexy as distinct from lust is so vague, subjective, and ethnocentric as to defy understanding. In other words, I don’t know what you mean brother. Yes, sex is a given at ANY age. Lust is desire with an object. Re Sandy: Yes, celebrate our unique gender based selves but I don’t experience magnetizing women from my masculine self. That sounds like so much psycho-babble ‘philosophy.’ When I am acting masculine that turns off women. Here is to finding the blending of my true self, my powerful self, and the self-love that makes ME feel sexy and then I am MORE likely to attract someone.
My brother, YOU are on a roll! Yes, what makes a man sexy does defy understanding which is why I believe it is totally worth exploring, ESPECIALLY given the value we put on sexiness, at least in our U.S. culture.
And I would agree, when I’m deep, deep, DEEP in some aspects of my masculine self, some women get turned off, get afraid, RUN! Timing is everything and what I have learned as a man is to pace myself and not reveal ALL of myself too soon. It’s a more gradual revealing, just as I might get overwhelmed or see “red flags” when a woman shares too much too soon.
Timing IS everything.
Great article…You hit the nail on the head about being sexy starts with me. it’s an inside job for sure.. I feel sexy when I am vulnerable with my feelings, sharing what is really going on, seems to delight many women, and is where the power is too. Feeling confident with business does help too of course..
. Being sexy is about living my life purpose, while giving value, inspiration and imparting wisdom to others, It’s all about coming from Contribution , being transparent, expressing my passion for life…
. Feeling good about myself healthy, fit and alive augments the Attraction Factor for sure where age does not play a factor at all.. When I can play racket sports with guys half my age and kick butt is quite sexy for sure.. you think.. grin grin. I raise a Cheer to the men of the world who lives their lives with Passion, Enthusiasm no matter how old we are… Adam, thanks for all your revitalization, rejuvenation…You are our Fountain of Youth. Keep the Giving Going!. Youthfully Yours, SunWolf
Thanks so much for sharing. Yes, inside job indeed! So sexy to you sounds like when you’re in your power, feeling like you’re accomplishing something whether it’s an external activity like fitness/sports or an internal one like opening up your heart and soul to another. Does that sound accurate?
Once again, I salute you, my brother, YOU are living the life and are the frontrunner and inspiration for me and so many other men.
Keep it up,
Jack Saturday says
I’d like to hear more about “taking charge.” To be sexy do I need to relieve my woman friend of the burden of choice? I like mutuality more than “We’ll do it my way.”
Nothing wrong with mutuality AND, sometimes it’s sexy to take charge. What’s your experience of democracy in the bedroom? Voting on each position or action takes you out of the moment in my POV. Of course, each has veto power 😉
Betty Louise says
As a woman, almost 58, actively dating throughout the last 8 years, I find sexy to be in a man’s ability to listen mindfully. I like a nice face to look at with eyes that say “I want you, and I will cherish and respect you.” You know how eyes can speak to us when we listen.
I’m all about the inner beauty and sexuality, and when we feel into that fully, the outer beauty and sexiness come through!
Thanks for the juicy topic!
Thanks so much for your thoughts on the topic. Mindfulness, attentiveness, those are absolutely critical traits, I would agree.