I'm Dr. Adam Sheck, and I'd like to welcome you to the "Men After Fifty" Community! Living for more than half a century on this planet is a rite of passage and I wanted to create a place where we can share our wisdom and experience to help each other and to help those who matter in our lives. As true for many "men after fifty", I've had a number of careers over my … [Read More...]
I’ve got to confess: I LOVE women over forty! I know you’ll think I’m a freak for defying my evolutionary instincts and not joining the rest of the boring crowd in going for the hot, anorexic, airbrushed, implanted girls in vogue these days. Feel free to mock me if you’d like.
Pretty much, I have always loved them. I love ALL women, it’s just how I roll, but over forty – the BEST! I’ve had sex with them, I’ve married them, I’ve had children with them – NOT necessarily in that order!
As a psychologist, analytically I can trace it back to my mother issues. Like Freud might have said, “If it’s not one thing, it’s your MOTHER!”
Mine was strong, independent, and had a crazy sex life in her fifties and sixties and beyond that would make you green with envy. She was also a narcisstic, self-involved, alcoholic, but there had to a few reasons I became a psychotherapist.
And at the age of twenty-five, I had an incredibly intense, mind-blowing, life-altering summer affair with a forty year old, Ph.D., marathon running dynamo of a woman. Is it nature or nurture for my desire for the over forty woman then? Who knows?
And, who CARES! It is what it is, and it doesn’t really need to be any different. In fact, as a man in my early fifties, it may even be appropriate in the eyes of society, not that I’ve ever given a rat’s ass about that. In fact, I’ve probably been more of a rebel/outcast as far as society is concerned.
All I know is that it WAS the truth and now more than ever IS the truth. Yes, I’ve had the cliche midlife fling with a woman sixteen years younger than I, but I seemed to go back to my “type” after that (and even during to be brutally honest).
The over forty woman has had experience. She’s felt deep love and deep pain and loss already. She appreciates who she is and who she is WITH. She knows what she wants and she isn’t afraid to ask for it. In her career, in her relationship, and IN THE BEDROOM!
It’s like that great song from the Broadway musical, “The Music Man”.
I smile, I grin, when the gal with a touch of sin walks in.
I hope, I pray, for Hester to win just one more ‘A’
The sadder but wiser girl’s the girl for me.
I want someone who’s had experience, who’s made mistakes, survived them, lived to tell about them and ready to MAKE NEW MISTAKES with me! And learn and grow from them.
And yes, I’ve outed myself as the one straight man in Los Angeles who loves Broadway musicals
She is clear and asks for what she wants, no guessing games required. I’m fairly psychic on the good days and yet I much prefer communication.
In knowing and truly owning who she is, she is incredibly sexy. That has ALWAYS transcended appearance to me.
There is a great piece called, “In Praise of Older Women” written by Frank Kaiser, but often erroneously attributed to Andy Rooney. Some of my favorite parts are:
- An older woman knows how to smile with such brightness and truth, men stagger.
- An older woman will never ask out of the blue, “What are you thinking?” An older woman doesn’t care what you think.
- An older woman has been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom.
- Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.And she’s lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)
- Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you’re acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn’t give a damn.
An additional truth for me now, is that as a man in my early fifties, a woman in her forties is a younger woman! So I can align with my desires AND my biological imperative. I can have my cake and eat it, too! Note: I’m not discouraging or ruling out women my age and beyond as well. As I said, I truly do LOVE women.
I welcome your thoughts and comments,