What Side Of The Bed Do YOU Sleep On?

Who controls the “climate control” while you and your partner are driving?  Who’s in charge of the remote control while watching television?  Who decides where you sit while dining at home?  At a restaurant?

I know that these all seem like trivial questions, yet they speak to a big issue in relationships, that of the POWER STRUGGLE!

After a couple has been together for awhile and made it through the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship, they enter the power struggle phase.  This is where the “chemicals of love” have worn down a bit and we begin to experience who we are actually in a relationship with and we begin to butt heads as we notice our differences (For more on this, see my post, “Three Stages of Relationship”).

Let’s return to the original question, “what side of the bed do you sleep on?”   [Read more…]

What is the 80/20 Rule And Does It Apply To Relationships?

I completely believe that 80/20 Rule applies to relationships!  I’ve written a little bit about the 80/20 Rule in previous posts and now I’m ready to elaborate more about how you can specifically use it to enhance your relationship.

So what exactly is the 80/20 Rule?

The 80/20 Rule is also known as the “Pareto Principle” and was named after Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto who observed in 1906 that [Read more…]

Can anyone possibly answer the question of what women really want?  It certainly is a question for the ages!  I wrote a blogpost entitled, “What Do Men Really Want In Relationships?” and I received a great deal of feedback about it.  It sparked a strong reaction, both in women that loved it and women that hated it.  No one was on the fence.

And interestingly enough, there was only one male response. In that post, I promised a sequel, speaking about what women want, and after long contemplation I have finally written it. [Read more…]

Regarding the question of what men want, it’s not really that complicated at all.  I can tell you this from both personal and professional experience, that what men want in relationships is pretty basic.  Hint:  It’s not about having a “trophy” partner or someone to feed us and take care of us when we’re sick.  It’s certainly not about having someone to “process” feelings with.  It’s not even about sex, though sexuality IS an important part of relationships.

What men REALLY want in a relationship, is [Read more…]

During my August “Ask Adam” Teleseminar (click for replay), one of the questions I was asked was “How can I get my guy to open up and share his feelings?” It’s a frustrating question that I am asked many times in my psychotherapy practice by singles and in couples counseling as well.

Let me share a few tips that might help make this happen.  For a man (or a woman for that matter) to open up about their emotions and share his feelings, there definitely needs to be trust and safety in the relationship.  This may take time and “baby step” experiences of opening up to develop.  And, if there is any history of betrayal from the past, including early childhood issues, this may be even more challenging .

That being said, you CAN increase the likelihood of getting your man to share his feelings by taking the following steps:

1. Don’t push for him to share his feelings!   [Read more…]

Can Men And Women Really Be Friends?

Most of us have struggled with this issue, on whether men and women can be friends in a platonic way or will sex get in the way?  Can we “rise” above our impulses or is it a doomed idea?  AND, if we CAN be friends with someone of the opposite sex, how does our partner/spouse feel about it?

We’ve all asked the question, had our own experiences and we’ve all come to our own conclusions.  I recently conducted an informal survey on my Facebook Page, The Passion Doctor, and received very consistent, though contradictory answers from men and women.

Let me share with you some of the responses.

Responses From Women: [Read more…]